Dear Christians: Dobson Thinks You’re Stupid

Why do I say this? I’m glad you asked.

I recently came across James Dobson’s Ten Arguments Against Same Sex Marriage. I was so utterly appalled at the stupidity of it that I had difficulty forming a coherent response; quite frankly, I don’t think I could dumb myself down enough. It’s just so wrong on so many levels.

I also have a confession to make: I’ve actually read several of James Dobson’s books, and I used to be on his mailing list. I know! Stop laughing! It’s painful enough as it is!

Seriously, though, while Dobson is extremely misguided in a few areas, I don’t think he’s a stupid man. He’s certainly not stupid enough to believe this enormous crock of shit. His so-called arguments against gay marriage are so far removed from anything having to do with the subject that they’re not even wrong!

I’ll just post a few lines here so you can see what I’m talking about. For a full-blown migraine, follow the link and read the whole thing.

A Question Of Ethics

I value honesty and integrity above all things. When blogging, I do my best to be straightforward and direct. For instance, if I am addressing or writing about an individual, I will name the person. If I am responding to something specific from another blog, I will link to the post in question. Sometimes, I come across things on other blogs that trigger a thought or idea, and inspire me to write about something unrelated to the topic I’m reading at that time. Even then, I feel it is appropriate to credit the author for the inspiration.

I do not engage in the dishonest games I occasionally come across on other blogs. For example: making up stories and inventing “anonymous” sources to try and make a point (not the same as writing fiction and calling it that), creating multiple accounts and using them to “high-five” myself in comments or give the appearance of having more than one contributor to my blog or making posts or comments that are clearly passive-aggressive shots at unnamed individuals. This type of behavior damages credibility, something I value far too much to jeopardize by playing such childish games.

Credibility – the issue that inspired this post.

Getting To Know You – Part II

Welcome to Part II of Getting To Know You, a series in which I will address some of the questions and concerns people have regarding online and long distance relationships. My purpose in taking on this project is to share a different perspective on this slightly controversial topic. If possible, I would like to help remove the stigma attached to these kinds of relationships.

I am a firm believer that consenting adults should be able to engage in any kind of relationship that makes them happy. I also understand the skepticism regarding online and long distance relationships, but having been in a committed and successful long distance relationship for seven years which has resulted in a recent marriage, I hope I can shed new light on a few things.

In Part I of this series, I discussed what I feel it means to truly know another person. It was in response to the question, “How can you fall in love with someone you don’t even know?” While it directly inspired the title of that particular post, I believe the title suits the series just as well – it is about getting to know a different side of the issue, as well as the people involved.

I would like to address a couple more questions I have encountered regularly over the years. I believe they can be answered in the same or a similar way, so I will tackle them together:

How do you know the person you’ve met online isn’t lying to you? How do you know he isn’t a psycho?

I Am Atheist, Like It Or Not!

Time and again, I encounter Christians on blogs and discussion forums who attempt to argue that there is no such thing as atheism or that atheists are really just agnostic. More often than not, this argument seems based on the fact than many atheists allow for the possibility of the currently unknown. This is an intelligent position to take which in no way invalidates my personal atheism, and certainly not atheism as a whole.

Let’s begin by clarifying what each of the terms in question actually means:

Agnosticism is a position or statement of knowledge. Atheism is a position or statement of belief. The two are not mutually exclusive; in fact, I am actually both. Allow me to explain:

Speaking For All Men

WARNING: This post contains strong language.

I came across a dive of a blog last night and just had to post about it here. The blog is called Unfiltered: The Real Dirt Inside Men’s Minds – The real, unfiltered, politically incorrect truth about what men think.

Yep, that’s right guys – he speaks for you all. But don’t worry, he appears to have Dissociative Identity Disorder (Exhibit A) so I doubt he’s taken very seriously by well-adjusted people.

I started to comment on something he had said in one particular post, but decided against it since I don’t like hanging out in dives with men who think they know everything about women but clearly know nothing at all. So Mr. Thoughtful (yes, I’m serious) will have to settle for my pingback instead.

First I will post the portion of an article that Mr. Thoughtful quoted and then commented on:

Wonderful You – The Gift Of Time

[For the purpose of this post, my son would like to be referred to as John.]

Money has been really tight lately. Mike and I both work, but we’re maintaining two households and trying to save money for all the immigration fees. One of the ways I recently cut back was to stop giving John his weekly allowance. He was disappointed, but he understands the reason and knows that things won’t be this way for ever. He’s also happy to do whatever it takes to get his dad here as soon as possible.

As many of you probably know, this past Sunday was Mother’s Day in the U.S. Since John no longer gets an allowance, he didn’t have money to spend on a gift for me. Now, I have never been the kind of person who expects or demands gifts. I absolutely despise the concept of compulsory gift giving. If someone gives me something, I want it to be because he really wants to, and not because he feels obligated. Otherwise, how meaningful can the gift possibly be?

John is generous and loving, and he would have been happy to buy me something if he had still been getting an allowance. But the fact that he was flat broke didn’t stop him from giving me a gift that I will cherish for the rest of my life. And it was completely his own idea!

Congratulations Ellen and Portia!

As Mike mentioned yesterday at The Odd Blog, the California Supreme Court has recently overturned the State’s ban on gay marriage!

Today I saw Ellen DeGeneres announce plans to marry her longtime girlfriend, Portia di Rossi! I am a huge fan of Ellen DeGeneres, and I am absolutely thrilled about this!

Ellen and Portia, I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Watch Ellen’s emotional announcement here.

Getting To Know You

Recently, while browsing through other blogs, I noticed that the topic of people meeting and/or dating online is quite a hot one. Although there is a lot of it going on, there are still those who are quite skeptical and even critical of this type of interaction.

While some can be downright nasty about it, other people seem to have legitimate concerns and likewise raise legitimate questions; questions that I had too, before I found myself falling in love with a man I had never seen face to face.

Mike and I have been in a long distance relationship for a little over seven years, and were married this past March. When we met online, neither of us was looking for a relationship; it just naturally grew into one. Our love has grown stronger every day since then, and we are deeply committed to each other and our marriage. We have overcome numerous obstacles, and each one has brought us closer and made our relationship even more solid.

It seems to me that maintaining a long distance relationship, especially one as long distance as ours (he’s in the U.K. and I’m in the U.S.), requires extra levels of commitment, dedication and trust. There are also certain sacrifices that a couple must be willing to make; sacrifices much different to those required in traditional relationships.

That said, I would like to address some of the questions and concerns that I’ve encountered recently and over the years. Of course, my thoughts on the subject are based solely on my own personal experience and success story, if you will. They are, however, thoughts which I have examined extensively for more than seven years and discussed at great length with my wonderful husband for just as long. I will begin with the question that inspired the title of this post:

How can you fall in love with someone you don’t even know?

Happy Birthday My Love!

Have a wonderful birthday, Michael. Spend it doing what you want to do, with the people you care about. I know you would rather be here with us than anywhere else, and that’s what we want too. But remember, this is your last birthday that we’ll have to spend apart.

Spend it well, Honey! I’ll be there for the next one.

With all the love in my heart,
Your Lottie

Beauty And The Brain

I recently made a post entitled Virtual Bitchslap. While I have no desire to rehash it all, I do feel that I should clarify a few things.

I’ll begin by explaining that in some instances I was merely taking the piss:

The term sometimes refers to a form of mockery in which the mocker exaggerates the other person’s characteristics; pretending to take on their attitudes, etc., in order to make them look silly.

Wikipedia – Taking the piss

Further reading for my fellow non-British readers:

[…] to take the piss is to deflate somebody, to disabuse them of their mistaken belief that they are special.

World Wide Words – Take the piss

Taking the piss doesn’t always translate well in text, so it’s no wonder that there was some question regarding my true thoughts about one thing in particular.

Regretfully, while writing Virtual Bitchslap, I became so involved in driving home a particular point to a particular person, that I neglected to make a few other necessary points.