Tag Archives: online dating

Getting To Know You – Part III

Welcome to Part III of Getting To Know You, a series dedicated to discussing some of the questions and concerns regarding online dating and long distance relationships. I have been in a long distance relationship for over seven years, and recently married my long distance Love. I am writing from my own personal perspective, and hope it will benefit those who are following along.

Despite the fact that online and long distance relationships are becoming more and more common, there is still considerable controversy surrounding the topic. My goal is to help promote a more balanced and positive view of online and long distance relationships by addressing some of the questions and concerns that I encounter most frequently.

In Part I, I addressed the question, “How can you fall in love with someone you don’t even know?” and explained my thoughts on what it is to truly know someone. In Part II, I discussed questions regarding liars and psychos on the internet. Now I would like to talk about a couple of things that may sound funny or superficial at first, but are legitimate concerns that deserve a genuine response:

What if the person you’ve fallen in love with online has bad breath or body odor problems?

What if it turns out that you’re not sexually compatible?

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Getting To Know You

Recently, while browsing through other blogs, I noticed that the topic of people meeting and/or dating online is quite a hot one. Although there is a lot of it going on, there are still those who are quite skeptical and even critical of this type of interaction.

While some can be downright nasty about it, other people seem to have legitimate concerns and likewise raise legitimate questions; questions that I had too, before I found myself falling in love with a man I had never seen face to face.

Mike and I have been in a long distance relationship for a little over seven years, and were married this past March. When we met online, neither of us was looking for a relationship; it just naturally grew into one. Our love has grown stronger every day since then, and we are deeply committed to each other and our marriage. We have overcome numerous obstacles, and each one has brought us closer and made our relationship even more solid.

It seems to me that maintaining a long distance relationship, especially one as long distance as ours (he’s in the U.K. and I’m in the U.S.), requires extra levels of commitment, dedication and trust. There are also certain sacrifices that a couple must be willing to make; sacrifices much different to those required in traditional relationships.

That said, I would like to address some of the questions and concerns that I’ve encountered recently and over the years. Of course, my thoughts on the subject are based solely on my own personal experience and success story, if you will. They are, however, thoughts which I have examined extensively for more than seven years and discussed at great length with my wonderful husband for just as long. I will begin with the question that inspired the title of this post:

How can you fall in love with someone you don’t even know?

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Virtual Bitchslap

Following my post, Love You Long Time?, I would like to discuss another post from Jessica’s Blog, formerly Jessica Hope Leahy’s Blog. This time Jessica takes shot after shot at people who begin and/or continue relationships online. She also makes a special point of reminding her readers that she is what society deems attractive, also suggesting that people who “look for love” on the internet are probably unattractive and desperate.

Now, Jess may throw a tantrum and whine about being picked on like she did after my first post about her, but I couldn’t care less. All her self-infantalizing whimpering about I’m just a kid…, pick on somebody your own size…, stop making fun of me…, it’s just a romance blog… gah!… are nothing more than childish cop outs, transparent attempts to avoid taking responsibility for her own words.

Well, Jess, I have news for you: some people are going to take issue with the things you carelessly slap on your blog to meet a deadline. When those people speak up as a matter of principle or conviction, you don’t get a pass just because you’re carrying a heavy workload. Other people are busy and value their time as well; many of those same people are willing to make time for causes that are meaningful to them. And they often do so without receiving any form of compensation – not even college credit.

It’s called having principles, which brings me to the reason for this post: I am a firm believer that consenting adults should engage in any kind of relationship that makes them happy. I further believe that those relationships should not become a target for ridicule; not even if some self-centered journalism student has a deadline to meet and can’t think of anything else to blog about. So, as a matter of principle and conviction, I will now address Virtual Lovin…, by Jessica Hope Leahy:

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