Empowering Myself

I stopped identifying as a feminist years ago because I was tired of having my lived experiences dismissed by other feminists when said experiences didn’t fit their narrative or ideology.

I was tired of having other women presume to know my mind better than I do, by accusing me of having “internalized misogyny” and setting feminism back “by decades” because I chose to stay home and raise my son.

I was tired of being called an “MRA type”, among other things, for pointing out that letting them dictate how other women should think, speak, act, and live their lives, is not an improvement over men doing it; that feminism is supposed to be, at least in part, about empowering women to choose our own paths in life — not just switching from being controlled by men to being controlled by other feminists.

I was tired of having it made clear to me, in no uncertain terms, that I am not ‘one of them’ and will never be represented by them because, ironically, they could never seem to find the perfect sized box to keep me in.

And I’ve been better off and much happier since I stopped trying to live like a feminist, and just started living. I empowered myself by understanding that, despite what feminists would have me believe, I am not utterly helpless without them.

Belated Labor Day Posting

Because I’ve been busy preparing for my husband’s arrival, and our long-delayed honeymoon, as well as my son’s return to school after summer break, I didn’t manage to squeeze in time to write the Labor Day post that’s been brewing in my mind. My son is off to school now, but Hubby arrives tomorrow, and I still have lots to do in preparation. That being the case, I would like to point you toward an excellent piece written by one Hippie Professor:

Many people believe that the government should play at most a minimal role in social programs – that we should let the free market reign. Any additional social needs should be addressed through volunteerism and not through government programs.

It is often stated quite bluntly – like this: “I have worked hard and I deserve the money I have earned so why should I be forced by my government to give something back to other people?”

[…]

Because your society is partially responsible for your success.

Think about it a second. You have worked hard all of your life – in school, in your job, running your business. Yes – you deserve to be rewarded for that hard work. But none of that hard work would have meant anything if you didn’t live in a society in which hard work could actually pay off.

And how does our society pull this off – what does our society do to help you obtain success?

Please read the rest of Labor Day Reflections to learn the many ways that society contributes to our success, and why we all have a responsibility to give back, likewise contributing to the success of society as a whole.

Health Care Reform — Myths vs. Facts

When one in three Americans say someone in their family skipped pills, postponed or cut back on needed medical care due to the cost; when countless bankruptcies are related to medical expenses; when the number of uninsured approaches 50 million; when government spending on health programs rises so rapidly that it jeopardizes other priorities; and when employers struggle to pay for the costs of health care, the fact is, we can’t afford not to fix health care. — AARP

Please read Myths Vs Facts regarding health care reform. You can also help counter the fear mongering.

Why We Need Government-run Universal Socialized Health Care

If you don’t “get it” after seeing this video, you just don’t want to.

Tomorrow: National Day of Silence 2009

NEW YORK, April 9, 2009 – An 11-year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, hung himself Monday after enduring bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay, despite his mother’s weekly pleas to the school to address the problem. This is at least the fourth suicide of a middle-school aged child linked to bullying this year. Full article at GLSEN

Carl did not identify as gay, but this tragedy serves as a reminder that anti-LGBT bullying can have devastating effects on all students, particularly during the vulnerable years of budding sexuality and peer pressure.

Carl would have turned 12 tomorrow, April 17, 2009 — the National Day of Silence.

Contrary to claims made by the religious right organizations and various members of their flocks, promoting homosexuality is not the purpose of the DoS. The purpose is simply to bring awareness of anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment, and to promote effective responses to it. It is not about allowing gay students to disrupt class for the day to promote a “homosexual agenda”, as many claim.

Students of all beliefs, backgrounds and sexual orientations participate in the Day of Silence.

When I called my son’s middle school, I was pleased to learn that they will recognize the DoS. An announcement will be made in the morning, and the event will take place during lunch. In an effort to counter some of the negative response they are sure to receive, I offered my thanks and support, and assured them that my son will be in attendance.

Rambling On will also recognize the National Day of Silence tomorrow, April 17, 2009. No new posts will be made, and comments will be held in moderation until the morning of April 18. I will change the settings now in case I’m unable to get back to it later, but I will do my best to check in and moderate comments before I shut down for the night. Comments made after around 7:00 p.m. Central Time will not likely be seen until the morning of the 17th, and will therefore be held in moderation until the following morning.

My heart goes out to the family of 11-year-old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover and to all the other families and individuals who know first hand the harsh realities surrounding anti-LGBT bullying and harassment.

To those who have experienced the humiliation of being tormented simply for being who you are: You are valued, loved and appreciate by more people than you may ever realize. Your life is precious and other people’s lives are enriched by your presence in the world. Please be good to yourself — you deserve it!

Posted by Lottie — Copyright © 2009 Rambling On

American Violet

I just received an email from the ACLU about this woman’s story. I look forward to seeing the film.

Based on real events and set in small town Texas in the year 2000, American Violet tells the story of Dee Roberts (Nicole Beharie), a 24 year old African-American mother of four who is swept up in a drug raid and falsely accused based on the uncorroborated testimony of a single informant. Despite the urgings of her mother Alma (Alfre Woodard), Dee rejects a plea bargain that would release her from jail but forever brand her as a felon. With the custody of her children at stake, she instead decides to take on the powerful district attorney behind it all, Calvin Beckett (Michael O’Keefe). Roberts finds herself in an unlikely alliance with ACLU attorney David Cohen (Tim Blake Nelson) and former local narcotics officer Sam Conroy (Will Patton). With inspiring courage and dignity, Dee overcomes seemingly insurmountable obstacles, forever changing her and the Texas justice system.

American Violet

Duh Economics

If I hear one more person ask how spending billions of dollars is supposed to stimulate the economy, I think I’ll scream at the top of my lungs while pulling every hair out of my head. After that, I will buy a wig, glue it to my head and continue with the hair-pulling.

I’m going to be as restrained as I possibly can here, but this is getting ridiculous. At the risk of sounding like a condescending jerk, when someone asks how spending money stimulates the economy, they show a complete ignorance of even high school-level economics. The question is as jaw-dropping to me as asking how billions of people having sex is supposed to stimulate population growth.

So then you get the argument, ‘well, this is not a stimulus bill, this is a spending bill.’ What do you think a stimulus is? That’s the whole point! — President Obama

Exactly! I’ve been saying this, almost verbatim, for a couple of weeks now. Thank you, Mr. President!

But now we’ve got people saying, “So, he finally admits that the stimulus bill is about spending.”

Excuse me while I have a facepalm moment.

President Obama no more “admitted” that the stimulus bill is about spending than a person could “admit” that air traffic is about planes flying around in the sky, or that ice is about frozen water.

But let me tell you where I think President Obama went wrong in all this: He gave too many people more credit than they deserved in assuming that they understood what the damn word means.

He didn’t “admit” to anything, as that would imply that he had previously denied or attempted to cover it up. I think he just finally realized that he was going to have to dumb it down for people who clearly weren’t grasping all the words or understanding the very basics of Duh Economics.

This is not simply a matter of perspective. This is not some sinister, liberal conspiracy to steal people’s money. The United States is in economic crisis. Police are being called to control the crowds at job fairs! This is the harsh reality of the situation.

Republicans may not like it but the way to create jobs fast is through spending. It matters when you’re wrong. A whopping proportion of the Republican rhetoric about stimulus is wrong – total economic bull puckey. It’s time to take the radical step of privileging correct information over incorrect information.

Rachel.msnbc.com

For a crash course in what economists from both sides of the aisle are saying, please watch at least the first four minutes of this, though I do recommend the entire eight minute course.

Posted by Lottie — Copyright © 2009 Rambling On

Hell Holes

This video discusses many of the logical holes in the concept of hell. It also briefly touches on free will.

More From QualiaSoup Good stuff!

Portland, Oregon

Mike and I have always planned to move out of Texas. We thought we would be doing it together, but in light of recent developments, we have agreed that now is definitely the time to go.

We’ve discussed this at length and considered several different places, but the conversation always comes back around to Portland, Oregon.

Although it rains a lot, the temperatures aren’t too severe, and the scenery is nice. They have good public transportation, and Portland is pedestrian and bicycle-friendly.

The public school system has got to be better than it is in Texas, although I realize that’s not saying much.

Portland is also full of lefties like us, and Oregon has the fourth largest percentage of people identifying themselves as “non-religious” in the United States. Mike was excited to learn that, with twenty-eight breweries within the city, Portland is home to more breweries than any other city in the country.

They do love their beer!

I’m not going to judge the economy one way or another because it’s broken everywhere, although it seems slightly less broken in Portland, from what I’ve been reading.

I’ve been looking into housing and it seems to be quite common for people in Portland to rent space in their homes. I’ve already found tons of ads for people renting as little as one bedroom, to those who have converted their basements into efficiency apartments.

I think this kind of arrangement might work for us because we’ll have to travel light and leave a lot behind (kitchen items, bedding, etc.) With this kind of arrangement, we could move into a fully equipped home, so we wouldn’t have to exhaust our resources right away, buying furniture and other essentials. I could get my son enrolled in school, and start looking for work right away without worrying about having a pot to cook in.

Plus, we could be around other people. I’ve found several ads placed by single moms who want to share their homes with another single parent. A few of them have boys around my son’s age. Since I’m not planning to leave until the end of February (I want to give my landlord sufficient notice) I have plenty of time to start corresponding with people and try to get a feel for things.

Of course, any sort of house share would be temporary, but I think it might be a good place to start.

I’ll start putting out feelers there, as well as updating my résumé. I suppose it can’t hurt to start sending it out now.

I’m definitely open to suggestions and advice; this is going to be quite an adventure and I’ll take all the help I can get.

Posted by Lottie — Copyright © 2009 Rambling On

Things Can Only Get Better

About three hours ago, I received a call from my employer. They laid off three hundred employees today, and I was one of them. I will receive a layoff package that will pay the bills for about a month, but I’ve lost my health, dental and life insurance.

I’m not exactly sure how to proceed from here. I’m still a bit disoriented and even frightened, but this could actually be the window of opportunity I’ve been waiting for.

I’ve wanted to leave Texas for a long time, and the two major ties were my job and my son’s school. Now that we’re homeschooling and I’m unemployed, there’s really nothing keeping us here. I’m thinking about pulling up stakes and getting the hell out of here, once and for all.

I’m not sure where I want to go, but I want at least one state between us and Texas. I don’t even want to live on its border. Guess that rules out New Mexico.

I think the saddest part, and perhaps the biggest blow, is the fact that this is going to further delay Mike’s immigration. He and I agreed that this isn’t exactly the time to be forking over a large sum of money to an immigration attorney. Having a spousal visa won’t do much good if there’s no home for him to come to here. Besides, I need to be working in order to sponsor him.

Shit.

This came to mind a few minutes after I hung up the phone with Mike:

And do you feel scared — I do
But I won’t stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better
— Howard Jones

Lyrics

Posted by Lottie — Copyright © 2009 Rambling On