Category Archives: Love

In Loving Memory of Papaw

I found out this morning that my grandfather died a little over a month ago. I may write a separate post explaining why I wasn’t informed, but for now I would just like to pay tribute to my grandfather who I loved and thought of often despite what certain other “family” members may think.

My grandfather was a kind and gentle man, dedicated to his family and, yes, to his god. I watched him preach on numerous occasions, and his passion was evident to me even as a young child. I sat in the very front row of the tiny rural church where he was Pastor, watching in awe and singing my heart out when the time came to do so.

When visiting Papaw at his home in Mississippi, he was always the first one up in the morning. I’m sure he rose before the sun to pray while the grandchildren were still sleeping and the house was quiet. When I finally awoke, I would find him sitting in his favorite chair, Bible open on his lap. He would look up and smile, welcoming me with a cheerful (Mississippi-accented) greeting: “Mornin’, Glory!”

I went to stay with Mamaw and Papaw when I was thirteen. I’d been having trouble at home and in school, and my grandparents welcomed me into their home as a sort of safe haven. It wasn’t long before I had inadvertently started running with the wrong crowd and Papaw was none too pleased.

One afternoon, I was standing outside his house talking with a couple of boys, one of whom I knew from school. The other didn’t go to school anymore. My grandfather came out, grabbed me by the arm and marched me inside the house.

“You’re hurting me”, I protested.

“Not as much as those two will”, he calmly replied.

The next time I tried to speak to the boys, neither of them wanted anything to do with me. After sending me to my room that day, Papaw had gone back outside and caught up to the boys, who had wasted no time in getting out of there. He warned them both that if they ever came near his granddaughter again, he would kill them, and that no one in that town would believe the Baptist preacher had done such a thing.

It worked!

While I would never condone such threats, I later realized that Papaw was only trying to protect me. Oh, I was livid at the time, but what I didn’t know, and Papaw did, was that the two boys were heavily involved in drugs, including dealing, and had frequent run-ins with the law. He just didn’t want to see me go down the same path. That certainly doesn’t excuse what he did, but it explains it in a way that any parent or grandparent might understand.

Papaw was one of the few men in my life who I didn’t fear (I even feared my own father). I always felt safe when Papaw was around. He wasn’t going to hurt me, or let anyone else do so. He risked his own safety as well as his reputation when he confronted those boys, but none of that was as important to him as protecting me at the time.

Over the years, circumstances beyond my control lead to a distancing between my grandparents and me. Mamaw died more than twenty years ago, and there had been no contact for several years prior to her death.

I often greet my son in the mornings with, “Mornin’ Glory!” I think of Papaw every time I say it. This morning, as I came to Bonnie for my morning hug, I said it to her. I then explained where it had come from, and wondered aloud if my grandfather was still alive. She asked his name and looked it up on the internet where we discovered his obituary. Papaw died a little over a month ago, June 29, 2009.

He used to sit on his front porch and sing. I always enjoyed sitting with him, singing along if I knew the words, and listening if I didn’t. One of my favorite songs to sing with my grandfather was Church in the Wildwood. To this day, despite my views on religion, I sometimes find myself humming or singing it softly to myself. It still brings back warm and happy memories of the few short visits I had with Papaw.

So, I dedicate the following song to the loving memory of my grandfather, Reverend Charles Donald Fitzgibbon (March 10, 1923 – June 29, 2009)


Happy Birthday, Sunshine!

Today is my little boy’s 12th birthday. I don’t know where all the time has gone, but he is certainly growing up fast.

We celebrated yesterday and everyone had a great time. We gave him his gifts in the morning so he would have the day to enjoy them. In the afternoon, we had a party at a nearby bowling alley. There was pizza and pop, cake and ice cream. Everyone bowled and the kids played video games afterward.

We’re going out to dinner tonight since today is actually his birthday. In the mean time, I wanted to post something special for my son who is growing into a fine young man and making me a proud momma.

Happy birthday, Sweetie. You are the sunshine of my life and I love you very much!


Happy Birthday Michael

Dearest Michael,

You are a wonderful husband and father. You are my confidant and my partner; my lover and my best friend. I am a very lucky woman to have someone as wonderful as you to spend the rest of my life with.

Happy birthday, Michael. I love you with all that I have and all I am.

Always,
Your Lottie

Lucky
Jason Mraz

Do you hear me
Talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I’m trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I hear your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I wait for you I promise you, I will

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music, feel the air
I put a flower in your hair
And though the breeze is through trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keep spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday


Intellectual Love

I found this via Terra’s blog and thought it was quite funny. Hope you enjoy it too!

Tim Minchin — If I Didn’t Have You


Help!

So, I decided to have a couple of drinks last night. I wasn’t terribly drunk, but I was feeling good. Bonnie and I were listening to The Beatles, who we both love. I thought I’d share this amusing exchange:

Lottie: Which movie did they sing Help in?

Bonnie: Help.

Lottie: Yeah.

Bonnie: Help.

Lottie: Uh huh.

Bonnie: The name of the movie is Help.

Lottie: [cracks up laughing like a total dork] See, you can’t talk to me about these things while I’m doing this. [motions to glass of Jameson on the rocks]

OK, so maybe you had to be there.

Anyway, the song has been playing in my head all day, and it occurred to me how perfectly appropriate it actually is right now. So it is with deep love and gratitude that I dedicate this song to my best girlfriend and sister of my heart.


Getting To Know You – Part IV

In May of last year, I started writing a series entitled Getting To Know You. The purpose of the series was to address some of the questions, concerns and misconceptions about online and long distance relationships. I became sidetracked and involved in other things, and never got around to finishing the series. Although it’s been nearly a year, a recent inquiry has inspired me to write another segment.

I have been in a long distance relationship for more than eight years — the relationship was initiated online, and my husband and I recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I am writing from my own experience and perspective. My goal is to help shed new light on the subject and work towards removing the stigma attached to these kinds of relationships.

Each part of the series address a different question or topic. In Part I, I addressed the question, “How can you fall in love with someone you don’t even know?” and explained my thoughts on what it is to truly know someone; in Part II, I discussed questions regarding liars and psychos on the internet; Part III addresses what to do if it turns out that the person you fell in love with online has bad breath or body odor, or if you’re not sexually compatible. I know these things may sound funny or superficial at first, but I believe they are legitimate concerns that deserve genuine responses.

Now on with the show! The next question I had wanted to deal with is:

Aren’t you worried he or she will cheat on you? Isn’t it easier to cheat when you’re in an online or long distance relationship?

Continue reading


A Family of Friends

You’ll find there’s a family of friends living here,
A small group of minds, and of hearts;
With some of us clever and some of us not,
At times you can’t tell us apart.

There’s one who is cranky, and one who is shy,
And one who is really uncouth;
And just when you think you’ve discovered who’s who,
You’ll really uncover the truth.

The truth that we’re all just a little of each,
A group of imperfects are we
And sometimes I might criticize them to you,
But don’t ever knock them to me.

‘Cause the one thing that ties us together for life-
no matter how far we’re apart,
Is love for each other, a family of friends
A small group of minds, and of hearts.

Judy Blume


One Year Ago Today

At about this time last year, I was having breakfast with the love of my life, keeper of my heart and most wonderful man in the whole wide world. I know that’s not traditionally how a bride and groom spend the morning of their wedding, but we’ve always been fairly unconventional and figured, why start now?

Two hours later, at approximately 11:30 a.m. on March 20, 2008, we stood in the judge’s chambers at a courthouse in Texas and promised to love, honor, respect and cherish each other until we are parted by death. Tears welled up in my eyes then, just as they have now.

We had hoped to spend our first anniversary together, finally ending our international relationship and living together, once and for all, on the same continent. Circumstances have made that impossible this time around, but that doesn’t diminish how special this day is to me and to us.

Mike and I have been through a lot these past eight years. We’ve overcome many obstacles, supporting and comforting each other along the way. We’ve held hands and climbed mountains. When I grow tired, Mike carries me. When he can climb no longer, I sit by his side while he recovers the strength to carry on.

It’s not always been easy, but it’s felt good and right every step of the way. Besides sharing a powerful love for each other, we are the best of friends; we like each other — a lot! I believe that has kept us going more than just about anything.

We’ve almost reached our mountaintop, my Love. I’m pressing on, with all that I am and all that I have. I know that you are too.

Truly Madly Deeply
by Savage Garden


Job Search, School and Frozen Bits

Things are still going well here in Minnesota. I’ve had time to settle in and really start noticing how different things are. Besides the weather, which I’ll come to shortly, life here is less chaotic and stressful.

We are surrounded by warm friendship, love and support which is the main source of the peaceful feeling here. The general atmosphere of our area feels quite easy-going as well. People seem more friendly, and a lot less rushed.

The job search is underway. That’s about all I can say at this point. I have résumés and applications in at several places, all of which would be nice places to work. I haven’t been called for any interviews yet, but it’s still early in the game, so I’m not worried.

It requires a little digging, but there are opportunities to be found. I feel confident and optimistic. Of all the places I’ve applied, I can’t say that I’m more interested in one than another. The one that might interest my readers the most, though, is the Science Museum of Minnesota.

My little buddy is back in public school and enjoying it very much. He likes all his classes and teachers, and already has a nice circle of friends. He’s in two different after-school clubs: one is the chess club, the other an anime club. He’s also in the school choir.

Yes, my little guy is enjoying school again. I’m very pleased and excited for him. It’s been a long time coming!

Last Tuesday, I experienced negative temperatures for the first time in my life. I was walking with John to the bus stop and my nose hairs froze. No, seriously! It was weird because I didn’t realize right away what was happening. By the time I figured it out, my vision started to blur. I quickly realized that frost was accumulating on my eyelashes. I kept pinching them between my thumb and forefinger to keep them thawed.

Don’t worry, though. I’m not the least bit put off by it. I told Mike that it was actually exhilarating in a way. I’ve never felt air so cold; it was a completely new sensation that I’d never experienced and I’m glad I did. That said, we’ve been having warm temperatures in the 40’s and 50’s these past couple of days, and I’m enjoying that very much.

Overall, things are going well.


Friendship and Fate

I should probably begin by saying that I do not believe in fate, destiny or that anything is “meant to be”. These imply purpose, which implies the presence and interference of external, supernatural forces in our lives. Anyone who reads here regularly will know that I file that sort of thing under the heading of bollocks, and more specifically, woo.

My disclaimer out of the way, it’s not really the point of this post. It’s not about criticizing people’s general belief in destiny, the stars or the Fates all of which henceforth I will refer to as “fate”, for the sake of simplicity.

There is one aspect of these beliefs, though, that’s been bugging me for quite a while, and I think it’s time I share my thoughts on the subject.

When recounting failed, broken or forgotten relationships, people who believe in fate often say things like, “It wasn’t meant to be”, or “It was only meant to be for a season” and other words to that effect.

It’s true that not all friendships last for ever, and that there’s not always a guilty party or someone to blame. People change and grow throughout life, not always at the same pace or in the same direction. This often leads to a parting of ways. Sometimes the parting is painful; sometimes it’s done with cherished memories and no hard feelings. Occasionally, the parting occurs without either party taking much notice at all. It depends upon the individual relationships and their dynamics.

Some fate-believing people, however, have a (very calloused) knack for categorizing every broken relationship as “not meant to be”. Even when the people with whom they have parted ways express pain or hurt feelings, certain fatalists refuse to take responsibility for their own behavior and how it can affect and even destroy friendship after friendship, relationship after relationship. Fate is at work, after all, and it was only meant to be for a season.

What a total crock!

This is often nothing more than the refusal to look honestly at oneself and own up to being insensitive, uncaring and selfish; a direct desire to avoid having been part of the reason for a life-long series of broken relationships.

The slightly amusing part is that, more often than not in my experience, we see this kind of behavior in people who claim to be deeply introspective and highly enlightened. I wonder how many of them would recognize themselves from someone else’s perspective; assuming, of course, that they actually have the ability to see things from someone else’s viewpoint.

Friendship needs to be nurtured and cared for: it requires mutual respect and consideration. It’s give and take, and that doesn’t mean one person does all the talking while the other does all the listening.

People who can leave others wounded in the wake of their self-centeredness, time and again, who can write off every failed relationship as “only meant to be for a season”, have no idea what true friendship is about. In a way, I pity them, for they may never experience the joy of true friendship, as I have.

There is a comfort in being loved and accepted in spite of, or perhaps even because of, your quirks and idiosyncrasies. There is a contentment in giving, if only by making a friend laugh, or reminding her how much she is cherished.

So, believe in fate all you please, but don’t use it as an escape hatch from the sinking ship of your own inability in relationships. Some friendships can last for ever, but they require far more than ‘the stars’ to make them shine.

Posted by Lottie — Copyright © 2009 Rambling On