If I get one more recorded telemarketing call saying that it’s time to renew my automobile warranty, I think I’m going to scream! I do not own a car!
It doesn’t matter that I listen to the recorded spiel and then dial nine (or whatever it is this time) to be removed from the calling list. They keep calling. Every goddamn day!
I also get calls about my Medicare supplemental health insurance. I’m forty-one years old! I’ve jumped through all the hoops to be taken off this list too. But they keep calling!
And I do not want a satellite dish! If a live person would actually make the call, I could tell them that. This one doesn’t even offer the option of being removed.
Then there are the newspaper subscriptions that I don’t want. Why on earth do I want a subscription to a weekly paper from BFE Idaho (I’m in Texas) or wherever? Not exactly brilliant marketing there.
The ones I hate the most are the ones that have a recorded message saying, “This is a very important call for [Lottie]. Please remain on the line for the next available agent.”
Fuck that! If it’s so important have an actual person call and ask for me. I have shit to do. It’s completely obnoxious to call my home and then expect me to wait on hold to speak to them.
And if one more Jehovah’s Witness knocks on my door while I’m trying to work (or eat, or shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails) I’m going to take the Watchtower magazine with a smile, invite them in for a cold drink and then set the damn thing on fire right before their eyes.
OK, so that wasn’t about telemarketing, but it gets on my nerves so I thought I’d toss it in there for fun.