Tag Archives: Relationships

Coping After Domestic Abuse

I don’t usually talk about this, but I think it’s time.

I survived more than three decades of abuse at the hands of several different abusers.

Warning: The contents of this post may be disturbing and/or triggering to some readers.

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A Woman In Love

I just finished opening my heart to you, as I often do. I’m able to do this because I know my heart is safe with you. After the talk we had a few minutes ago, I know you will understand the things I am about to say and why I have to say them here for all the world to see.

Thank you, Michael, for saving me; for leading me out of the darkness into the light. You have been a friend and constant companion; a teacher and mentor. You discovered all of me by giving me the freedom to explore and discover every aspect of myself and fully accept it all.

I look forward to a lifetime of new discoveries as we continue to grow as a couple and develop as individuals.

I trust you fully with my very life; I would confidently place it in your hands. Or at your feet. With you, there is safety even in being vulnerable; in loving completely, without conditions or restrictions, and in being loved just the same.

You encourage me to press forward, even when I feel I can’t go on. You have helped me become all that I am by helping me test my own limits and expand my own boundaries. You did this, not by simply replacing my strength with yours, but by showing me my own when I was certain I had lost it.

With you, all is right with the world. I no longer feel confused, lost or alone. You give me direction that I know I can follow and you never walk so fast or so far ahead that I can’t keep up.

You, Michael, are my foundation; my rock. Because of you, my hope is renewed and I know that everything is going to work out just fine.

Friends, neighbors and co-workers look at me and see a woman who’s “together”. What they don’t see is the love and protection that enfolds me and keeps me that way; the love and protection that comes only from you. And while the parts of me that they see are quite real, no-one will ever see the entirety of who I am; the completeness of me that is only present when I melt into your arms and surrender my love to the one who nurtures it and keeps it safe – you.

The following song keeps playing in my mind, and I want to share it with you to further express how I’m feeling right now. I will post the lyrics under the video for you to read in case you’re not able to listen at the moment.

Some of the images in the following video may not be kid or work friendly.

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Virtual Bitchslap

Following my post, Love You Long Time?, I would like to discuss another post from Jessica’s Blog, formerly Jessica Hope Leahy’s Blog. This time Jessica takes shot after shot at people who begin and/or continue relationships online. She also makes a special point of reminding her readers that she is what society deems attractive, also suggesting that people who “look for love” on the internet are probably unattractive and desperate.

Now, Jess may throw a tantrum and whine about being picked on like she did after my first post about her, but I couldn’t care less. All her self-infantalizing whimpering about I’m just a kid…, pick on somebody your own size…, stop making fun of me…, it’s just a romance blog… gah!… are nothing more than childish cop outs, transparent attempts to avoid taking responsibility for her own words.

Well, Jess, I have news for you: some people are going to take issue with the things you carelessly slap on your blog to meet a deadline. When those people speak up as a matter of principle or conviction, you don’t get a pass just because you’re carrying a heavy workload. Other people are busy and value their time as well; many of those same people are willing to make time for causes that are meaningful to them. And they often do so without receiving any form of compensation – not even college credit.

It’s called having principles, which brings me to the reason for this post: I am a firm believer that consenting adults should engage in any kind of relationship that makes them happy. I further believe that those relationships should not become a target for ridicule; not even if some self-centered journalism student has a deadline to meet and can’t think of anything else to blog about. So, as a matter of principle and conviction, I will now address Virtual Lovin…, by Jessica Hope Leahy:

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Love You Long Time?

I don’t usually critique other blogs here at Rambling On, but I recently came across one that is so simultaneously hilarious and disturbing that I feel I must share. The fact that its author will not allow me to comment there was definitely a deciding factor in my decision to write about it here. As anyone who knows me can testify, I am not one to go quietly.

Before I get to the deleted comment that prompted this post, I would like to address a few things that I probably would have let slide if Jessica Hope Leahy had been honest and open-minded enough to discuss my comment rather than deleting it like a narrow-minded coward.

The title of the blog is Jessica Hope Leahy’s Blog. The following is a quote from her About page:

Side effects of visiting this blog include, an open mind( Oh No!), nausea and vomiting, and a sense of humor.

[emphasis mine]

Apparently the author didn’t experience all the same “side effects” that she expects her readers to.

Jessica is a journalism student who will be graduating soon, and her blog is part of an assignment to that end. I find this disturbing in more ways than one, but I will begin where the author did – with the URL:

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I do! I do!

On March 20, 2008 at approximately 11:45 a.m. I married my best friend and love of my life. It’s been a difficult, seven year journey for us, mostly because we live on separate continents. But we are deeply in love and committed to each other, so the wait has definitely been worth it.

Now that the immigration process begins, so does the next wait.

Four hours ago, I left Mike at the airport. It was incredibly sad and painful for us both. I miss him so much…

An old country song keeps playing in my head. This is the chorus:

Silver wings
Shining in the sunlight
Roaring engines
Headed somewhere in flight
They’re taking you away
And leaving me lonely
Silver wings
Slowly fading out of sight

Now I’ll wait for the silver wings to bring you back, Baby!

I love you with all that I am and all that I have!

This and That

So the work-at-home gig is going well. I haven’t actually worked in the nude yet, although I do spend most of the day in my pajamas. The most unexpected thing about this new arrangement is the fact that I feel slightly guilty about it. I know I’m doing the work correctly, but it just seems too easy; too relaxed. I keep thinking how odd it is that I’m actually being paid for it.

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Abstinence-Only: Stop the Madness!

I received a letter from the Director of Health Services of the school district my son attends. The title of the memo read as follows:

Fifth Grade Maturation/AIDS Education Program

In the body of the letter, however, it refers to “maturation and abstinence education”. I wanted to clarify this, to find out if it is an abstinence-only program. Well, sure enough, it is. She said that they teach the kids to avoid pregnancy and STD’s by abstaining from sex “until marriage”. What? I take issue with this on several different levels:

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