Tag Archives: Love

Feedback Requested

I received an email from my son’s Mulitmedia teacher. I find it disturbing for several reasons, and wonder if some of you would tell me what you think. First, here’s the email:

Hello Ms. [Rambleson],
I had a situation/ conversation with [John] today because he called two students names. [John] informed me that the first student– he was not talking to but the second student claimed that [John] called him stupid. I told [John] to go stand outside, this is where we talk to students about things we do not wish to share with the class in the portables because the AC is very loud– the good and the bad. He asked me why several times before doing so. This is a great question and I was more than happy to answer that for him but not in front of the class– which I told him once we were outside. I didn’t think our conversation was appropriate for the whole class because when I speak with [John] and another student, [John] tends to argue instead of talking about it so it turns into a mess instead of a productive situation.

For the remainder of class, I asked [John] if he would sit at a different table (without any students at it) so he could finish his work.

I spoke to the entire class on Friday about STEM core values (Respecting each other and “name calling”) and our expectations for our students in this program.

[John] told me that he is going to request to take Art instead. To do this he needs to go to the counselor, however, we expect STEM core values to be upheld in all of our classes.

I wanted to speak with you about this and hopefully together we can come up with a solution that will be easy to implement within a 45 minute period. I would like [John] to be part of the solution, as well, but I do not think we were ready for that today (due to time constraints).

Thank you for your time,
[Name withheld]

To begin with, I find this barely coherent. I’ve read it several times, and I’m still not sure what she’s asking me to do. It’s unsettling to see this quality of writing and communication from one of my son’s teachers, especially one whose whole job is based around communications.

The most I can gather is that John called another kid stupid and she dealt with it. So why is she writing to me about it? If a middle school teacher is so fragile that she needs to call in the troops over a little bickering between preteen students, I contend that she needs to seek employment elsewhere.

As to John being argumentative, I concede that he can be that way. I also know that it is quite normal for boys his age. That’s not to say that it’s OK, or that there shouldn’t be consequences, and I do not condone his arguing with teachers. I only say this to point out, once again, that this particular teacher seems ill-equipped to work with children my son’s age. Furthermore, while I admit to his being argumentative at times, I hardly call it making “a mess” of things.

John asked me last night if I think he’s a “screw up”. It broke my heart. I certainly hope he’s not getting that kind of message from his teachers.

After reading through the email several times, I can’t help wondering if the “mess” might be partly a result of this particular teacher’s inability to communicate effectively and take charge.

Please don’t get me wrong: I’m not the kind of parent who thinks her kid can do no wrong. I’m big on taking responsibility and making John do the same. But I know my son and I’m familiar enough with this teacher to suspect that perhaps not all the responsibility for the “mess” belongs to John.

I welcome honest feedback on this. I want help, not coddling.

Posted by Lottie — Copyright © 2008 Rambling On


Lost: One Best Friend

For our Idiosyncratica challenge this month, Mike suggested we write a drabble, which is a short story written in exactly 100 words. I was terrified at first, but it turned out to be quite fun.

So, I will now introduce my very first drabble entitled, Lost: One Best Friend:

Julz asked me why I stayed. Why would she accuse me this way? I might not have known she was blaming me. It almost sounded like she cared; like she loved me. Good thing They told me about this.

All these years I thought Julz was on my side. She made a good show of it, for sure. Now I know she blames me. That’s not love.

But where will I go now? Julz was I all had. But They care! They’re the ones who warned me about people like Julz.

What’s that new sign in their window?

Victims Wanted?


A Woman In Love

I just finished opening my heart to you, as I often do. I’m able to do this because I know my heart is safe with you. After the talk we had a few minutes ago, I know you will understand the things I am about to say and why I have to say them here for all the world to see.

Thank you, Michael, for saving me; for leading me out of the darkness into the light. You have been a friend and constant companion; a teacher and mentor. You discovered all of me by giving me the freedom to explore and discover every aspect of myself and fully accept it all.

I look forward to a lifetime of new discoveries as we continue to grow as a couple and develop as individuals.

I trust you fully with my very life; I would confidently place it in your hands. Or at your feet. With you, there is safety even in being vulnerable; in loving completely, without conditions or restrictions, and in being loved just the same.

You encourage me to press forward, even when I feel I can’t go on. You have helped me become all that I am by helping me test my own limits and expand my own boundaries. You did this, not by simply replacing my strength with yours, but by showing me my own when I was certain I had lost it.

With you, all is right with the world. I no longer feel confused, lost or alone. You give me direction that I know I can follow and you never walk so fast or so far ahead that I can’t keep up.

You, Michael, are my foundation; my rock. Because of you, my hope is renewed and I know that everything is going to work out just fine.

Friends, neighbors and co-workers look at me and see a woman who’s “together”. What they don’t see is the love and protection that enfolds me and keeps me that way; the love and protection that comes only from you. And while the parts of me that they see are quite real, no-one will ever see the entirety of who I am; the completeness of me that is only present when I melt into your arms and surrender my love to the one who nurtures it and keeps it safe – you.

The following song keeps playing in my mind, and I want to share it with you to further express how I’m feeling right now. I will post the lyrics under the video for you to read in case you’re not able to listen at the moment.

Some of the images in the following video may not be kid or work friendly.

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Bits and Bobs

Work is still going well. I’m not sure why, but my bosses seem to think the sun shines out of my arse. Every week when I’m getting ready to leave for the office to turn in work and generally make an appearance, I start to feel anxious like something terrible is going to happen. I know this is completely irrational; everything always goes very well. They always tell me what a wonderful job I’m doing, thank me profusely as if I’m doing them some kind of huge favor, and then hand me a paycheck. I wonder if I’ll ever get over the anxiety.

That reminds me of something else I’m planning to blog about soon:

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Virtual Bitchslap

Following my post, Love You Long Time?, I would like to discuss another post from Jessica’s Blog, formerly Jessica Hope Leahy’s Blog. This time Jessica takes shot after shot at people who begin and/or continue relationships online. She also makes a special point of reminding her readers that she is what society deems attractive, also suggesting that people who “look for love” on the internet are probably unattractive and desperate.

Now, Jess may throw a tantrum and whine about being picked on like she did after my first post about her, but I couldn’t care less. All her self-infantalizing whimpering about I’m just a kid…, pick on somebody your own size…, stop making fun of me…, it’s just a romance blog… gah!… are nothing more than childish cop outs, transparent attempts to avoid taking responsibility for her own words.

Well, Jess, I have news for you: some people are going to take issue with the things you carelessly slap on your blog to meet a deadline. When those people speak up as a matter of principle or conviction, you don’t get a pass just because you’re carrying a heavy workload. Other people are busy and value their time as well; many of those same people are willing to make time for causes that are meaningful to them. And they often do so without receiving any form of compensation – not even college credit.

It’s called having principles, which brings me to the reason for this post: I am a firm believer that consenting adults should engage in any kind of relationship that makes them happy. I further believe that those relationships should not become a target for ridicule; not even if some self-centered journalism student has a deadline to meet and can’t think of anything else to blog about. So, as a matter of principle and conviction, I will now address Virtual Lovin…, by Jessica Hope Leahy:

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Love You Long Time?

I don’t usually critique other blogs here at Rambling On, but I recently came across one that is so simultaneously hilarious and disturbing that I feel I must share. The fact that its author will not allow me to comment there was definitely a deciding factor in my decision to write about it here. As anyone who knows me can testify, I am not one to go quietly.

Before I get to the deleted comment that prompted this post, I would like to address a few things that I probably would have let slide if Jessica Hope Leahy had been honest and open-minded enough to discuss my comment rather than deleting it like a narrow-minded coward.

The title of the blog is Jessica Hope Leahy’s Blog. The following is a quote from her About page:

Side effects of visiting this blog include, an open mind( Oh No!), nausea and vomiting, and a sense of humor.

[emphasis mine]

Apparently the author didn’t experience all the same “side effects” that she expects her readers to.

Jessica is a journalism student who will be graduating soon, and her blog is part of an assignment to that end. I find this disturbing in more ways than one, but I will begin where the author did – with the URL:

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How Do I Love Thee?

My Dearest Michael,

You are the most wonderful and loving person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. We have grown together in many ways over the past seven years. Things have not always been easy for us, but loving you has been; it’s the easiest, most natural thing I’ve ever done.

I appreciate your patience and tenderness; I admire your strength and commitment to us and our future. You have loved me in ways I never knew possible, and I will always love you with a passion that I could never have imagined, until you came into my life.

You have a way of knowing what I think and how I feel, before I say a single word. The way we always “get” each other, like no-one else ever could, gives me comfort and peace. I know I can tell you anything at all; I can share my deepest feelings, greatest fears, craziest dreams, and wildest fantasies. You are kind and gentle, and your love gives me a feeling of security and safety that I never knew before.

You are the love of my life and my very best friend. I dedicate this song to you in celebration of our first month of marriage: