It’s time to come clean. I’ve been doing this for far too long, and all the secrecy and sneaking around is beginning to wear on me.
I strive to be a good and decent person, but I am only human, so it’s inevitable that I will sometimes falter.
The time has come to get this out into the open: to clear my conscience and let my readers, friends and loved ones know what kind of a person I really am. So I am removing the mask, revealing my secret, and confessing my sin.
Late at night, when I’m alone and have trouble sleeping (which is most of the time) I slip out of bed, lock my bedroom door, switch on the television and watch reruns of House.
I know… And you probably thought I was just smoking pot or something. If only it were so benign.
Dr. House is an amazing character. He’s arrogant, obnoxious and condescending. And that’s on a good day. Typically, he harasses and deliberately humiliates his subordinates; having nothing but contempt for authority, he treats his Chief of Staff in just about the same way. Only, with Dr. Cuddy, he heaps on an extra layer of humiliation with constant reminders that, given the choice between following her instructions and following his, the rest of the staff will defy her every time.
House is crude, abrasive and egocentric. His bedside manner is appalling: he shows absolutely no sympathy or compassion for his patients, and in fact, routinely criticizes and insults them, blaming them for their illness or injury and attributing it their own stupidity.
He is a bitter, unkempt, misogynistic curmudgeon who makes no secret of his addiction to Vicodin. He indiscriminately swallows handfuls of pills in front of, well, anyone at all, even his patients, and he has his subordinates write prescriptions for him.
If he were real, and you met him in person, you might want to punch him in the face, even if you weren’t prone to violence. He’s rude, thoughtless and downright mean a lot of the time.
He uses unconventional and risky methods for diagnosing and treating patients. Informed consent and doctor-patient privilege are meaningless to him; the ends justifies the means.
Dr. House cannot be trusted to keep a promise, a secret or even an appointment.
But you can trust him with your life, and you can take that to the bank.
He’ll do anything and everything to save and cure you, if only to prove that he was right and to earn gloating privileges.
But I think there’s more to Dr. House than meets the eye. Behind the mask of confidence, self-assurance and independence, he has a need to be understood and validated, liked and even loved. The problem is that he’s terrified of all these feelings, so he denies them and mocks anyone who suggests that needing people is anything more than a gross character flaw.
House is the good guy and the bad guy, the hero and the villain. You love to hate him and hate to love him.
Kind of makes me wish I smoked pot.