I have mentioned on a few occasions that I have a condition which causes chronic pain. I hesitate to talk much about it, though, because the condition I’ve been diagnosed with is often misunderstood; some people don’t even believe it exists.
I look fine, after all.
There is no test for fibromyalgia. The diagnosis is made after every other suspected illness has been ruled out.
You can’t see fibromyalgia. I can’t point to a specific injury so you can get an idea of how much I may be hurting. But it hurts all the time. Some days are better than others, but I hurt every day of my life, all day long, to varying degrees.
Sometimes it feels like a burning ache all over my body. Other times it’s a dull, throbbing pain throughout. At its worst, I’ve described it to Mike as the sensation that my muscles are trying to strangle my bones. It’s deep and excruciating. So much so that simply standing and walking across the room can cause me to cry out in pain.
Even when sitting comfortably with a heating pad, sometimes just holding a book or a cup of tea is out of the question. My hands either hurt too much or they just don’t have the strength to hold on. If the fibromyalgia itself isn’t bad enough, I also have osteoarthritis in my spine and various other joints, to further complicate things.
Over the counter medications offer very little relief, if they even help at all. The only prescription medications that have ever given me enough relief to make the cost worthwhile were narcotics, and I simply can’t live like that.
It’s finally starting to get good and cold for us Texans, and the weather aggravates the pain, which means I’m going to have a hard time working this week. My office chair broke long ago, and sitting in this stiff kitchen chair is about to make me scream.
I hope this makes some kind of sense. Flare-ups like the one I feel coming on also cause concentration problems, so it’s difficult to focus on exactly what I’m trying to say. Maybe I’d better just hit the sack before it gets any worse.
Thanks for bearing with me.