Daily Archives: December 4, 2008

Always The Last To Know

It happens when you’re the black sheep, you know? People don’t tell you shit! They either think you’re not worth telling, or that you don’t care. Well, in a way I’m glad to be estranged. My family (parents mainly) are dysfunctional in too many ways to mention. Fortunately, my sister married a decent, stable and relatively normal man who, as far as I can tell, has done a fantastic job of raising their two kids since my sister died nearly eight years ago.

I spent a lot of time with their oldest when he was a baby and through his toddler years. We bonded then, and I can still feel it when I see him, however seldom that has been. I don’t know if he still feels it, but I do and, damn it, I want to know when he does something like join the Army fresh out of high school.

I found out about an hour ago that he had joined the Army right after graduation this past summer. He had orders to Afghanistan which were canceled. He’ll end up going, though. There’s really no question about that, is there? It’s only a matter of time.

This has been quite an emotional morning for me and my thoughts are all over the place. I’m tired of hiding out, unable to be in contact with people I love or speak openly about specific things that I do and places I go because of a fucking psychopath who is a complete waste of oxygen.

Sorry folks. It’s 9:30 a.m. and it’s already been quite a day.

Work. Yes, that annoying task that keeps the lights on and the heat running. I’d better refocus and fast. Maybe I can write more coherently about this some other time.

Posted by Lottie — Copyright © 2008 Rambling On