The World’s Shittiest Coffee

This is the weirdest shit (literally) I’ve seen in a long time. I was channel surfing last night and came across a show called Weird, True & Freaky on Animal Planet. The title is something of a give-away, but I certainly didn’t expect to see people drinking coffee made from turds. No, seriously!

Kopi Luwak (pronounced [ˈkopi ˈluwak]) or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus). The civets eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested. This process takes place on the islands of Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi in the Indonesian Archipelago, in the Philippines (where the product is called Kape Alamid) and in East Timor (locally called kafé-laku). Vietnam has a similar type of coffee, called weasel coffee, which is made from coffee berries which have been regurgitated by local weasels. In actuality the “weasel” is just the local version of the Asian Palm Civet.


Yeah. I watched a Palm Civet take a crap on a branch and then saw a man come along and collect the droppings. This coffee is very sought after; it’s supposed to be very good because, apparently, the enzymes in the Palm Civet’s digestive track break down certain proteins in the coffee berries that would make the coffee bitter. Oddly enough, this… shitty coffee is the most expensive in the world. It ranges from $120 to $600 USD per pound!

The Coffee Critic endorses this rare and exotic coffee. “It’s the rarest beverage in the world”, according to M.P. Mountanos President Mark Mountanos.

Animalcoffee offers a lovely range of Kopi Luwak Gift Boxes which include a beautifully finished presentation box hand crafted from Indonesia teak, freshly roasted kopi luwak and a sample of raw/ unprocessed kopi luwak in a block of lucite and a Certificate of Authenticity.

They also have available Kopi Luwak Coffee Pouches and Raw Kopi Luwak Pouches in a variety of sizes. In other words, preserved turds. No need to worry about E. coli, they say, although they never explained exactly why that’s not a concern. I can’t seem to find anything conclusive one way or another. Granted, I’m not trying very hard; I’ll never be able to afford the stuff anyway.

Even if I could, I’m fairly certain I’ll be sticking to my four dollar instant. Yeah.

Posted by Lottie — Copyright © 2008 Rambling On

6 responses to “The World’s Shittiest Coffee

  • Postman

    This is the very reason that this atheistickal, part-time postal worker drinks Assam or Scottish Breakfast tea. Once a tea leaf has passed through the digestive tract of a small mammal, it can never again be confused for something one finds in a tin at Harrod’s.

  • Lottie

    OK… now that I’m finished laughing and the cramps have passed…

    I might consider switching to tea myself. I drink Rooibos Chai on occasion, but I might consider a nice breakfast tea to replace my morning coffee.

    You know, just in case… 😯

  • truthwalker

    Suffering from a migraine I (against my better judgement) stopped for coffee served at a mall kiosk. For 2 years now, I’ve wondered what they did to make a 4 dollar cup of coffee so unabashedly hideous. Now, I know.

  • Lottie

    Ha! They should put warning labels on that… shit. 😆

  • truthwalker

    Ok, seriously. Have you ever parked your car under a mulberry tree? The bird crap there is like 80% raw mulberry. Just looks like the birds are just dropping jam on your car. If you collected and and made it into a wine…

    Why the possibilities of predigested food are endless!

  • Lottie

    Good thing I read this before breakfast. I’m craving toast and jam now. Ha! 😆

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