A Father’s Rights

I just watched a movie trailer at Feministe for a film called A Father’s Rights. More disturbing than the video were the comments under it. These people seem so blinded by hatred of everything male that they seem to think there’s a misogynist behind every bush.

This appears to be a story about a man fighting to be in his daughter’s life and wanting to protect her from what seems to be an abusive mother. Only he can’t – he has no legal rights to the child because he wasn’t married to her mother when the child was born. Despite the adamant denial that this could ever happen, I know for a fact that it can and does. These kinds of cases are not all the same across the board. Insisting that one’s own experience represents every other case is not only ignorant, it’s also rather immature.

I would like to take a quick detour, just to mention for the benefit of those currently studying law, that I think they will find, as they grow up in their careers, that what they have learned in the classroom about how the legal system is supposed to work isn’t always how it actually does work. It’s more than a little irritating to have some arrogant law student telling people that their experiences aren’t real just because they don’t line up with what the textbooks and law journals have to say on the subject. I’m afraid someone is in for a very rude awakening.

Now, back to the topic at hand:

I was appalled by the angry comments about how the woman is portrayed in this film; not to mention the denial that this kind of thing ever happens. It’s as if they refuse to believe that it’s possible for a woman to behave that way. They seem completely unwilling to accept the fact that there really are hysterical, abusive women and that some children would actually be better off living with their fathers.

I’m getting very tired of the whole women can do no wrong (and even if she does it’s some man’s fault) and all men are evil bullshit that seems to permeate feminist circles; the comments in this thread serve as a perfect example of this. This kind of thing is a huge part of why I don’t call myself a feminist anymore: I don’t want to be associated with a group of people who behave and (don’t) think like this.

Yes, according to the feminists in this comments section, the film is part of an evil male conspiracy to paint all women with the same hysterical brush. It couldn’t possibly be about anything that doesn’t have their own fucking names in it! Of course not. It’s all about them. Everything is about them.

Something I found most interesting and likewise disturbing is the fact that, at the time of this writing, not a single person has commented on the clip showing the baby – who had been in the sole custody of her mother – with bruises and what appeared to be fingernail marks across her face. But it’s probably just another part of the conspiracy to portray all women as psychotic bitches. Because women never abuse children, and no man would or could ever be genuinely interested in the safety and well-being of his child.

It’s all so very disturbing and Orwellian, this black and white woman good, man bad mindset. These women seem to be mirror images of what they despise. Misandry is equally as loathsome as misogyny to me.

Here’s the trailer they’re all so worked up about. Why it’s categorized under “misogyny” is beyond me. Before you watch it, here is what the blog administrator had to say about it:

Jill says:
July 28th, 2008 at 9:10 pm – Edit

A summary for those who don’t understand the trailer:

Bitchez is whores.
Bitchez be stealin your money.
Bitchez be fun to fuck, sometimes.
Bitchez get pregnant on purpose
Don’t trust dem bitchez.

There was a time when I believed this kind of comment was beneath her. Oh well…

P.S. I would have made these points over there, but I’m not keen on having my comments deleted; nor do I relish being attacked by a pack of rabid wolves for daring to speak my own mind instead of being led around by the nose by a bunch of women – as if that were somehow better than being controlled by men. That’s another thing that seems to escape them: their own behavior personifies the stereotype of the irrational female better than Hollywood ever has or could.

Advertisements

23 responses to “A Father’s Rights

  • Selena

    “what they have learned in the classroom about how the legal system is supposed to work isn’t always how it actually does work. It’s more than a little irritating to have some arrogant law student telling people that their experiences aren’t real just because they don’t line up with what the textbooks and law journals have to say on the subject. I’m afraid someone is in for a very rude awakening.”

    Very true and nicely executed!

  • Selena

    Are you going to be lawyer? If so, what type of law will you be practicing?

  • truthwalker

    I grew up in a small, very wealthy, very Christian town. You pick up a certain legal/law/civil rights ethos in that environment. Then, I worked for United Services providing aid to inner-city residents in Kansas City. I remember telling my parents how the law really worked, and how I saw people treated everyday, and being told I was just plain lying. Its very hard for people who have decided the world works a certain way, particularly if that certain way puts them in a position of privilege, to see, that MAYBE, just MAYBE, there are actually some serious cracks in the legal system.

  • Lottie

    Selena:

    It was a dream of mine, once upon a time. I might still pursue it one of these days. First I want to see my son through high school and college.

    I guess it’s never too late… 😀

    Truthwalker:

    Exactly! Thank for sharing your experience.

  • Selena

    “I guess it’s never too late…”

    I am one of those “glass all the way full and running over the brim types.” It’s never too late to work on a dream, even if it’s small amounts at a time.

  • Lottie

    Yep! And now I’m getting the urge again…

  • Selena

    Our Deepest Fear

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    ~Marianne Williamson

  • Lottie

    That’s awesome! Thanks, Selena!

  • Mike

    It’s an interesting commentary on ideologues, isn’t it?

    You get a group of people committed to a particular ideology, so deeply that they construct a major part (or the major part) of their identity around it, and what happens when their ideology is challenged?

    Even when it’s someone with whom they ostensibly should be allied, they take any criticism as an excuse to go batshit insane; people who would otherwise be reasonable adults become all stripey when criticised.

    It’s selective blindness, really, that prevents the discussion from being had. It’s as if the philosophy must be protected at all costs…

  • truthwalker

    “When your vision of community becomes more important than the community it self, then the people of that community will be sacrificed for it.”

    -A wise monk, whose name I can’t remember.

  • truthwalker

    you = your. I don’t know how I can reread a comment five times and not see my typos until it is up permanently. *sigh*

  • Lottie

    Great quote! Appropriate too. Thanks!

    (I fixed the typo for you. Hope you don’t mind. And don’t worry, I do that all the time! I read it over and over before sending and the minute it’s posted, I see a glaring typo! Ugh.)

  • Lottie

    It’s selective blindness, really, that prevents the discussion from being had. It’s as if the philosophy must be protected at all costs…

    That’s it in a nutshell, I’d say.

  • wilky13

    My name is William Fain. I made this movie. Here are some facts. It was not the mothers fault. I did love her with all my heart. It was the system. If you watch the movie you will see that the mother had something VERY tragic happen to her for 7 years as a child that caused her problems as an adult. The injuries to our daughter I do not blame her for. I have the pictures and the movie is dead on accurate. This movie is not about Father’s Rights, it about A Fathers Rights. I believe the child comes first not the parents. My girl suffered injuries you would not believe, then as a parent I was told by the state I had no right to know what happened.

    So as a man you are in a no win situation. Most of the post about our movie form Womens Right groups believe that the man has no rights. They damn you if you want to be part of your childs life and damn you if you don’t. I believe both parents should be responsible for the child they brought into this world.

    Neither parent should be lifted above the other has having more rights, its about the child.

    Anyway, I do hope you watch it and then decide.

    Our new movie is about Choice. See the detils here http://www.myspace.com/savethebutterfly

    I wish all parents equally, Have a Great Day!

    William (Wilky) Fain
    http://www.williamfain.com
    williamfain@yahoo.com

  • Gary Murning

    You know what occurs to me when I read about this kind of blinkered, selective approach to life? How fucking dated it seems. This is the 21st century (well, it is where I’m sitting, anyway 😉 ) and naive little old me would have expected the feminist community to have at least moved beyond the crimes of which they themselves accuse others. But apparently not. Discriminatory behaviour, prejudicial behaviour, based on sex (or gender, as they probably prefer it), is alive and well — in the most inexcusable of places!

    Of course, I’m a man and inevitably a part of the conspiracy. So all this can probably be dismissed as misogyny. It won’t be true, but why should that stop them? It never has before.

    I’m perfectly happy to say that there are women out there that I thoroughly despise. I hate them with a passion. But this has nothing to do with sex/gender. It is because I find them to be despicable human beings. Where they are hysterical, I’m perfectly comfortable to state that they are hysterical. Vile, selfish, nasty behaviour transcends sex/gender, as you’ve so eloquently pointed out, Lottie.

    If they were not so noxious, these people could almost be funny…

  • Lottie

    Hello, Mr. Fain! Thank you so much for commenting.

    I had intended to point out that a two minute trailer can’t possibly tell the whole story. I was furious about the responses at the other blog and neglected to do so. My apologies.

    I understand that the story is not about fathers’ rights, in general, but about one father’s rights. I have tried making that point as well, and it has been consistently ignored.

    Also, I apologize for sounding as if I was blaming the mother of your daughter for the injuries I saw in the clip. I only mentioned it to make the point that none of the people who were sneering and mocking had even taken notice. They were too busy making it about themselves to understand that this is about the child, first and foremost, and flaws in the legal system, and not about some evil male conspiracy or the feminist agenda.

    In short, I believe you and understand what you’re saying. Most importantly, I agree that children should come first, and barring abuse or neglect, both parents should be viewed as equal under the law. This should not even be a point of debate. And even if, as many feminists repeatedly claim, this kind of thing rarely happens, that doesn’t mean it’s unworthy of mention or deserving of mockery.

    I will make a point of seeing the film. Thank you again for commenting. I wish you and your family well.

    Sincerely,
    Lottie

  • Lottie

    Discriminatory behaviour, prejudicial behaviour, based on sex (or gender, as they probably prefer it), is alive and well — in the most inexcusable of places!

    I’ve made this same point uncountable times. It gets me into a lot of trouble too, as I’m sure you can image.

    Of course, I’m a man and inevitably a part of the conspiracy. So all this can probably be dismissed as misogyny.

    If not misogyny, then at least male privilege. And the fact that I agree with you and support Mr. Fain, etc. means I’ve internalized misogyny. Because, you see, it’s not possible that I can actually think for myself and disagree with them. It must be that I’m brainwashed by “the patriarchy”.

    Whatthefuckever.

    As far as calling it like you see it, this is another point that gets me into trouble (and Mike too, as you can probably imagine). They seem to think that feminism gives them the freedom to criticize men, and immunity from having men criticize them back when they deserve it. If I point this out to them, they say they’re criticizing misogyny or “the patriarchy” – not men. Then they turn it around on me, saying that if I don’t understand the difference, it shows how little I think of men.

    Well, I do understand the difference. I just don’t see them making the distinction when they’re slinging shit.

    There are so many double standards it makes my head spin.

    Thanks for commenting, Gary. And for listening to me rant. Again. 😉

  • bscoobies

    “I agree that children should come first, and barring abuse or neglect, both parents should be viewed as equal under the law.”

    Except you don’t really believe that, do you?
    If an abortion is the subject in question, then your pecking order is probably as follows: Woman first, man second, unborn child last.

    BS Coobie

  • Lottie

    Quite a presumptuous little shit, aren’t you?

    What makes you think you know one thing about my feelings regarding abortion?

  • Gary Murning

    It seems he’s now delighting me with his questionable company, too!

  • Lottie

    Sorry… it seems I’m a nut magnet. lol

    He made a nasty comment under my John Lennon post and I spammed it. He’s harassing Mike now too.

    What a terribly empty life some people must have… Kind of sad, really.

You must be logged in to post a comment.

%d bloggers like this: