The Powers That Be

After reading Let There Be Gas at Gary William Murning Online, I became intrigued and decided to follow up on Prayer at the Pump. I thought that with the way things have been going, if gas prices started to go down, I might give this whole God thing a bit more consideration. Well… not really, but that was kind of funny, huh?

Anyway, I’m interested in knowing what Twyman and Co. have to say about this:

Gasoline prices have soared to levels never seen before as even the inflation-adjusted price for a gallon of unleaded topped the 1981 record spike in price that had stood for 26 years.

Too bad they had to go and upset The Powers That Be. Maybe they prayed to the wrong god! What if the Gas God is a jealous god too, and now he’s pissed off and taking it out on the rest of us?!

Or maybe they prayed to the right god, but pissed him off. As Gary pointed out, God has been awfully busy in China and Burma. Maybe God didn’t appreciate having this important business interrupted by Twyman and Co.’s whining and decided to teach them a lesson!

What if God was so appalled by the fact that, in a country where people are routinely refused medical treatment because they don’t have money to pay for it, these sniveling idiots have the audacity to beg for lower gas prices so they can cheaply operate their gas-guzzling SUV’s (or whatever) and further pollute the air, causing even more health problems for people who can’t pay for the treatment?

Or as posted at Pandagon:

I wonder how God rates Twyman’s suffering from high gas prices as compared to the suffering of someone, say, raking through garbage on a steaming trash heap in the outskirts of Lagos, searching for something edible, or of someone who has lost his legs or eyesight from a bomb dropped last week on Sadr City.

Since Americans are God’s chosen people, perhaps Twyman’s suffering is paramount.

On the other hand, perhaps Twyman will go to Hell for paying taxes to the government that drops the bombs and enforces poverty in the Third World.

They just couldn’t leave well enough alone and render under Caesar. They had to go and provoke The Powers That Be, causing record high gas prices for everybody.

Selfish wankers.

Maybe next time they’ll follow George Carlin’s lead:

You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Two reasons; first of all, I think he’s a good actor. Okay. To me, that counts. Second; he looks like a guy who can get things done. […]

I noticed that of all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers that I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50 percent rate. Half the time I get what I want. Half the time I don’t. Same as God 50-50. Same as the four leaf clover, the horse shoe, the rabbit’s foot, and the wishing well. Same as the mojo man. Same as the voodoo lady who tells your fortune by squeezing the goat’s testicles. It’s all the same; 50-50. So just pick your superstitions, sit back, make a wish and enjoy yourself.


Thank you all very much. Joe bless you!

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